Ranking Cardboard Gerald’s Dinosaurs In Order Of Adorableness

July 7, 2013

A couple of weeks, ago, CardboardGerald, aka Ben Swanson, wondered what would happen if every team in the NBA had a dinosaur mascot. Then, he drew them all in Microsoft Paint. Because I wanted to procrastinate actual writing about important basketball topics on a Sunday evening, here’s my ranking of his dinosaurs, from least to most adorable.

30. Chicago Bulls Tully Monsters


29. Sacramento Kings Dire Wolves


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The Five Best “West Wing” Episodes of All Time…

April 25, 2013

Subtitle: …and, like, 9 others that I couldn’t bear to not name.

Do you follow me on Twitter? If so, I’m sorry. If not, congratulations! You’ve made at least one good life decision!

Anyway, if you do follow me on Twitter, you likely know of my love for “The West Wing.” Actually, “love” probably isn’t a strong enough word. Infatuation? Obsession? Undying devotion? Something along those lines. I just really, really like it, okay? I’ve seen every episode more times than I care to admit, could carry on entire conversations using only quotes from the show, and may or may not have made several rather significant life decisions based in whole or in part on The West Wing.* Sometimes I get drunk and trick my Twitter followers into allowing me to tweet random West Wing quotes at them. Most nights I fall asleep watching an episode on Netflix that I pick using a random number generator. (By the way, did you know The West Wing is on Netflix now? It was Netflix’s Christmas gift to all of humanity. So, no excuses. You should go watch it.)

One night a few weeks ago, I wound up tweeting something about The West Wing, and @the20thmaine (great follow, with one of my all-time favorite Twitter handles) said he’d be interested in knowing what my “Top 5 West Wing episodes” list would look like. Instead of just answering with a list like a normal person might, I decided I wanted to make a full blog post out of this, because (a) I really love writing about The West Wing, and (b) as Aaron Sorkin taught me, “anyone who uses one word when they could have used ten just isn’t trying hard.”

But then when I started making a Top 5 list, there were just SO MANY great episodes, I couldn’t bring myself to just name five. So what this actually is is a Top 5 list with a few honorable mentions. I mean, I eventually get to the actual Top 5. It just takes a while. So bear with me. Without further ado, the list!

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The Jazz “War” is Boring

February 23, 2013

First off, I’d like to say a lot of Jazz blog writers are talented and many of them I count as friends through twitter and meetings in real life. I love the passion and dedication of many of my fellow Jazz fans and it can make the community a fun place to be. Also, I must clarify that I do not have the time nor desire to sift through stats, watch plays on synergy, and I probably have actually watched less than 15 games from start to finish this season. Sadly, I’m a busy guy. Read more »


December 27, 2012

Have you ever lost control of the reins, had them taken by fate, or otherwise? It’s a scary experience, to feel that your life is completely out of your control, racing towards a cliff of unknown height or width; to feel the desperation of just holding on, hoping it all works out, somehow.

It happened to me when I was 19. Not in a car, well yes, in a car, but not as in literally racing towards the edge of a physical cliff.  If felt like it, though.  It felt real. We sat overlooking the city, in early September, near a park by the mouth of a canyon, surrounded by a mild autumn night and a sea of twinkling stars in the valley below us.


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So, How Are You Feeling Today?

October 3, 2012

Why am I getting so personal right now? Baring somewhat deep things about myself, but it almost feels like I should at times. Well, so I watch a lot of the “drama/romantic comedies”. I do watch a lot of them, and I do like them very much, but I find the ones I like the most are the ones that really delve deep into aspects about what makes us…us, people.
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I Owe Jimmer and TJ Fredette an Apology

September 20, 2012

I was lucky enough to grow up with BYU athletics. My parents met at BYU, one from Pasadena, the other Las Vegas. After school my dad joined the military to get through medical school, so we moved about every other year growing up. Nevertheless, the family followed BYU athletics closely, and most of our extended family still lived in Utah.


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Why Mitt Romney Makes Me Sad

September 17, 2012

I love politics. I know that seems weird to say, because American politics are really awful right now. Who in their right mind could love our politics right now? Well, I do. (There’s also a very distinct possibility that I am not in my right mind, so there’s that.) I still love politics even when I hate it.* Because what it is in its purest form is beautiful. It is about solving problems. It is about ideas. It is about the future. It is about how we choose to define and govern ourselves. It can be a force for good. It can bring people together. It can give us a purpose and direction. I know it’s naive, but that’s how politics was in “The West Wing” (expect this to be the first of many mentions of TWW by me on this blog). Sure, “The West Wing” was idealistic and unrealistic but there’s no good reason why we can’t make it realistic. There’s not so much wrong with our politics that we can’t fix them.

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Beautiful Game – Part 3

September 13, 2012

Welcome to the triumphant return of the series that is second to only Gangnam Style in popularity in Korea, The Beautiful Game – A primer for soccer newbies. The first two installments were focused on the goalkeeper and the defense, meaning this week’s subject will be the midfielders. In a traditional 4-4-2 there are four midfielders, two in the center and two on the wings. These players are required to be tireless as they are crucial components in both attack and defense. The tactical positioning of the midfield is very complex and varied, and would require a 2-3,000 word post to cover adequately, so I am going to stick with some of the basics and leave out some important ruffles. Honestly, there are so many great midfielders I won’t even be able to talk about including: Giggs, Gerrard, Pirlo, Ozil, Ribery,Cruyff, Platini, etc. The list is endless and more than I am willing to tackle in this limited time. Those other names are your homework.

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My Old Naked Guy Mentor

September 6, 2012

“The story you are about to see read is true; the names have been changed to protect the innocent” – Dragnet

I am a man.  I am 33 years old.  I exercise at a gym in the morning every day before I clock in at work.  Due to time constraints, I am forced to shower in the gym’s shower facilities.  If you are a man like me, you can relate to following.  If you cannot relate to the following, then I envy you.  I envy you more than my words would ever be able to express to you.

Over the course of a few years I have developed an indescribable relationship with a certain elderly adult man.  It is not a friendship per se, but it is a much more familiar relationship than the “acquaintence” category would seem to quantify.  I suppose to some extent he is my mentor  and I his mentee.

This article is a tribute of sorts to this elderly adult man and the many teachings he has passed down to me.  For the purposes of this article, I’ll simply refer to him as “Old Naked Guy.”  Considering I have seen Old Naked Guy nude more times in the past few years than my own spouse, I feel I owe him something.  What follows below is a recitation of our top 9 fondest life lessons he has shared with me.

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The Mystery of American Football

August 30, 2012


I’ll start of with some honesty: I don’t like football.

I have never liked football. As a marching band dude I, of course, went to every game in my high school and college careers. And every now and then a team will make me think football is fun to watch (see: the 2004 Utes). But in the end, it’s not my thing.

In a strange twist that baffles most people, my biggest problem with football is I think it’s boring. So much nothing interspersed with 8-second bursts of action. And this, of course, baffles people when they find out that I love baseball. But to me baseball never pretends to be an action sport, and knowing this I enjoy the slow pace. But football to me masquerades as an action sport … but to me there’s so little action. If I want action, I watch basketball and hockey.

So anyway, I openly concede that everything I write from this point on may be shrugged of with: “Whatever. You don’t get football anyway.”

Anyway, I’m trying to figure out what is so damn important.

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